dailygaelley

I’m not going to sugarcoat it— 2020 was bad. If you think about it, it had all the ingredients for the perfect hell year: wildfires, earthquakes, natural disasters, social unrest, and let’s not forget the cherry on top of the mess that was 2020— a global pandemic. Somehow, though, I think there were still good things that came out of that hell year. While I’m not really someone who typically looks at the brighter side of things, I have to say, that I think 2020 was a year of growth.

Growth for almost everyone in the world. Yes, people have died and suffering was pretty much everywhere but I think it’s in these moments that human beings are shaken awake to the reality that things have got to change. Growth is uncomfortable. It’s messy, awkward, and challenging. Remember when you were about 13-15 and your body was just an awkward mess? Your face broke out, hairs were growing in new places and your emotions were just all over the place? All of those things were just side effects of the growth your body was experiencing.

All the social issues that were brought out into the open in 2020 are now being talked about and have since seen change. While not all of the change is positive, it’s a change that made people think and reflect about their choices and beliefs in life. The global pandemic brought out the absolutely ugly sides of human beings. However, this also made people see how awfully selfish we’re wired to be. That realization alone has brought about people helping others and acknowledging that there has been something wrong with how things were done and that there needs to be positive change.

Just like everyone else, 2020 for me was a year of growth. I haven’t truly discussed this in detail before, but people close to me know that my 2020 began with being diagnosed with depression with anxiety. That diagnosis didn’t really come easy for me because while I always felt that there was something dark and heavy eating away at my insides, I was sort of in denial, I guess?

It’s something different when you feel it and when a licensed professional actually confirms it. In the past couple of years I’ve had episodes of being down and frustrated and angry but I always sort of got through it because there was no choice. I have had horrible and awful thoughts about disappearing and it was always something at the back of my mind. I always thought of myself as someone who could deal with things. I was strong— I still am but hearing the word depression from someone who actually knows the human mind kind of threw me off—- and made me all the more depressed.

That didn’t stop me from resigning from my work as a clinical instructor, though. I kind of felt guilty about it for a while. I knew something was up with me since November 2019. I spent the holidays in bed, not sleeping, not talking to anyone. I didn’t have the drive to teach anymore. I felt like the effort I was making as an educator was not worth it (because there was something I learned about how the system worked). I knew that i had to resign because I no longer found the passion and the joy I once had. I loved love teaching, especially when the person you’re teaching suddenly gets that *lightbulb* moment. I loved that. However, that passion wasn’t there anymore. It was tainted with the mess up of knowing something I really shouldn’t have learned. But somehow, I’m glad I did it. I don’t regret resigning because it made me do what I’m actually passionate about.

I started doing freelance work in January 2020, prior to resigning. I started writing articles for blogs and doing some social media management. It was great doing what I loved. I could work anywhere I wanted— until the pandemic hit. By March, I was still on and off with how I was feeling and couldn’t go to my doctor because he wasn’t seeing patients. I buried myself in work, hobbies, and cooking.

Gosh, I made and tried so many dishes in 2020. 2020 was a year of rediscovering my love for cooking. My family and I cooked, ate, baked all year round. We tried trends like the dalgona coffee and even experimented with recipes… which brings me to..

The Cookie Duo! I opened my first official online business during a pandemic! LOL. I’ve always wanted to open an edible cookie dough store in Davao. It’s something that no one has done and it’s something I really love making. I mean, who doesn’t like cookie batter, right? Apparently, some people do. Lol. Marketing the products were kind of hard because you get all these questions like, “Could you bake it?” or “Why are you selling cookie dough only?” or “Is this even safe to eat?”. Of course, it’s bakeable. The second question made us branch out into selling cookies and truffles. The third question’s answer is 100% yes. I opened The Cookie Duo in June 2020 with my sister, Gillian. She has since left the Cookie Duo to start her own Macramé business. Told you we’re all growing.

Aside from that, I spent 2020 looking for freelance work. The thing about freelancing is that it isn’t always that constant and is often project-based. So what happened was that whenever I didn’t have much work to do or articles to submit, I focused on The Cookie Duo. It wasn’t always easy, though. At one point, I didn’t have projects and had to work extra hard on the business to stay afloat. Sure, I didn’t have rent to think about but I still had my own bills to pay. The other thing I busied myself with during 2020 was seeing our baby cousins Isla and Fabian. They would sleepover whenever they had the chance and when they couldn’t come over, we’d video chat and talk about our days. I know, they’re so little but you’d be surprised at all the things you could learn from tiny humans. Also, they’re our models for The Cookie Duo. Hahaha.

So that’s about it. My 2020 was a year of growth. I’m happy to report that I am now doing well. I think I handle my emotions better and while there are still some days that I’d rather lie down and escape, I am coping. I just focus myself on other things. Oh, and I was also the designated errand girl in 2020 because I was the only one who wasn’t susceptible so I got like a bunch of selfies in a mask too. Lol. Waiting in lines and pick-ups. I was also lucky enough to have met friends over the pandemic. While it wasn’t that long or we didn’t quite catch up well, it was still fun seeing them.

2020 was a year of growth, collaboration, and entertaining ourselves.

As for 2021, so far, it has been sooooo good. I started a new job last November 2020 and so far it has been quite stable. I like helping people and I really try my best to do so. This job lets me do exactly that. I’ve so many plans for 2021. For one, I plan on making more content. I want to buy my own domain and finally work off a blog that I can call my own. Second, I plan on moving to my own space. I want to post updates about that, too! I’m so excited to curate and decorate my own space. I also plan on investing on the future and the right people. I miss connecting with people. I miss going out and not worrying about the virus. I miss going to the beach whenever. I miss going out late at night. I miss going to coffee shops and working there. I miss writing blog posts from beaches and airports. I miss traveling. I hope 2021 brings all this back but also I wish that things turn out better for everyone.